Music, It's How I Pray

by Sharol Brickman
(corrected: 9-19-2014 10:37 a.m.)

I read a post on Facebook recently that said, “Music is what feelings sound like.”  It reminded me of a time when I was at a crowded worship service and there were booming harmonies in every song. The sound was thick, and we could feel vibrations resonating through the air.  There was energy and power in our words, more than if we were just speaking them.  It was the sound of our feelings, wrapping together in community, rising and swirling up into the rotunda, and it felt holy.

That was five years ago at my first Hava Nashira.  The experience changed and shifted my long-time struggle with prayer, my struggle with:  What is God?  Do I believe enough?  Can I still pray meaningfully if I don’t believe exactly what I’m reading in the prayer book?  Does anyone else feel this way?

In every worship service I’m challenged by this struggle, especially during the High Holidays when the prayers are about God as King and Ruler with the exclusive power to judge, punish, and forgive.  At no other time during the year do I feel this pressure to believe in God as a single, all-knowing entity.  How can my vision of God, the spiritual presence that I like to believe flows freely in everything around us, fit with the God described during the High Holidays?  How can I feel connection, especially at this time of year, when we reach the first line of the Amidah:  Adonai s’fatai tiftach, ufi yagid t’hilatecha — “God, open up my lips, that my mouth may declare Your praise”?  It is only when these words are set to music that I find acceptance with my struggle.   In music, I find the sound of my feelings.  I find a powerful spiritual presence in song and I can let go, and pray.

At this year’s Hava Nashira, I learned a new musical setting for these words from Ellen Allard called “With My Lips.”  It includes these words and after reading them, I hope you’ll listen.

With my lips I talk to God.

With my lips I talk to God and the words come from my heart.

Oh God, please hear my prayer.  Hear the words I want to share.

Oh God, please hear my prayer.  Adonai s’fatai tiftach.

I sing out words of praise, all my nights, and all my days.

I sing out words of praise.  Adonai s’fatai tiftach.

The fathers, the mothers who came before, they said the words then l’dor vador.

We continue to speak them so we are sure that future generations will say,

With my lips I talk to God.

These words laid out this way and combined with music, remind me that even in my struggle with God, I am connected.  I’m connected not only to the people standing and praying with me, I’m connected to the people who came before me, and to the people who are still to come.  I’m reminded that these words come from my heart and I sing out, my voice wrapping with the voices of others, and as we powerfully pray together, we say:  Oh God, please hear my prayer.  Hear the words I want to share.  Adonai s’fatai tiftach, ufi yagid t’hilatecha.

Music, it’s how I pray.

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Sharol Brickman grew up at Shaare Emeth and was in the first class confirmed at the Ladue and Ballas building in 1980. She attributes her years in SETYG as her first connection to Jewish music. Sharol annually attends both Hava Nashira and Songleader Boot Camp (SLBC) and brings her joy of Jewish music to our pre-kindergarten through second grade Religious School students. She is also on faculty at JOLT (Jewish Opportunities & Learning for Teens), a program sponsored by CAJE. Sharol has led music at worship services in St. Louis, Kansas City, and Silverthorne, Co. You will find Sharol at Shaare Emeth in Shabbat guitar ensembles and singing in the Youth Center during the High Holidays. She is proud that her family--husband, Steve, and two sons, Aaron and Danny--add to the generations of our Jewish community.

Ellen Allard is a multi-award winning children’s Recording Artist, Composer, Performer, and Early Childhood Music Educator. She draws on a rich tradition of musical experiences in presenting her lively and captivating concerts, keynote presentations, and workshops for family audiences and educational conferences across the country.

Hava Nashira is the annual songleading and music workshop of Olin Sang Ruby Union Institute and the Union of Reform Judaism. Created by Debbie Friedmanz"l and Cantor Jeff Klepper among others, Hava Nashira provides the opportunity to improve skills while learning from the finest Jewish music innovators and composers.

SLBC provides powerful Jewish leadership training for clergy, Jewish educators, veteran and new songleaders, teen leaders and Jewish camping staff. SLBC was launched with its first conference in 2010 by St. Louis’s own Rick Recht and Rabbi Brad Horwitz of the JCC.

To broaden your own Jewish music experience, Sharol highly recommends you check out these artists on the web: Ellen Allard, Noah Aronson, Todd Herzog, Shira Kline, Naomi Less, Sheldon Low, Josh Nelson, Dan Nichols, Mikey Pauker, Rick Recht, Sababa, Craig Taubman, and Josh Warhsawsky. Or just ask Sharol when you see her at Temple.

The 2014 / 5774 Return of "Return"

Follow our daily blog for the Hebrew month of Elul (August 27-September 24, 2014) as our clergy--and new this year, some of our members--share their insights on preparing our souls for the High Holidays.

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If you subscribed last year and did not unsubscribe, you don’t need to do anything; you will automatically receive these inspirations starting Elul 1.

Lecha L'cha - Get going from within yourself...

We all know the verses from Genesis in which Abraham is instructed by God to "Lech L'cha," go from here, your land, your birthplace, the home of your parents and go to a land that I will show you.  When Abraham set out on the journey, he also took on great risk.  Ultimately, the "land" that God would show him wasn't just land like ground, but it was also that ability to look within and find trust and guidance.  

Abraham set out on this journey of self-discovery.  Simon Jacobson, in 60 Days: A Spiritual Guide to the High Holidays, writes: 

'Your land' represents the first level of subjectivity - the influence of society, community and peer pressure, which affect us in deep and profound ways.  We all want to be liked and accepted by others, and we adjust our behavior accordingly. 

The 'home of your parents' represents parental include, which can be so subtle that we don't even recognize it.  Often, we don't realize how deeply the attitudes of our parents permeate our own attitudes and behavior, for better and for worse. 

'Your birthplace' represents inherent self-love.  Each person is blinded by his or her selfish interests; no one is immune from that. 

Jacobson is not saying that we must ignore or reject the things that we've learned from our communities, our parents and ourselves - rather the opposite: to become aware of and in tune with these influences is the key to understanding their role in our lives in a conscious way.  

Jacobson suggests: 

Select one significant event of the past day and identify how your reactions and behaviors were shaped by the three levels of subjectivity named above.

We are all searching - for something.  Our searching is sacred, our discoveries are hopeful and healing. Elul is the time to take that sacredness and apply it to our hearts and minds. 

The Breath of Elul

The Jewish people love to mark time... Our calendar teaches us to - this month, the month of Elul, comes every year, spanning some part of the month of August.  I am always taken aback at how quickly it always seems to come.  Am I a last minute person?  Maybe I am.  I'm always surprised when I pass by a Hallmark store in the mall in April and see Mother's Day cards; or when shopping in the late summer to see clothes that would perfect for autumn while it's still hot out.  

Our calendar during the month of Elul is the tick-tock of our internal clocks reminding us to focus inward - on ourselves and our deeds; on our thoughts and our actions; on our troubles and problems.  Coupled with the beginning of school, this may seem link a daunting task at a terrible time of year. 

But how do we pull ourselves away from the craziness and business of everyday life - especially with all of these really important distractions?  Work, school, home, kids... these are all more than legitimate reasons for us to put off simply... being... breathing... focusing inward. 

I recommend two tactics to help give you the space for youself.  (A common phrase in financial planning courses is to "pay yourself first," as an incentive to save for retirement. I recommend the same, "give yourself space first."

1. Find the time to breathe.  Your breath is a critical part of your ability to relax.  When you are conscious of it, you can control it in such a way that allows maximum oxygenation of your blood.  If you're an iPhone user, try this app: Pranayama.  It will help you regulate your breathing and challenge you to breathe systematically.  Mediate while doing it - it's very relaxing. 
2. Listen to The Magic Mirror.  Amy Camie, harpist, makes available for a fee her CD that uses improvisatory music to inspire relaxation, deep-brain stimulation and healing.  It's proven to increase bloodflow and has been used in cancer treatment.  Amy will be with us during Yom Kippur for a meditation room and Healing service on the afternoon of Yom Kippur. 

Cantor Seth Warner