I have a photograph in my office of my father holding my son,
Simon, his first grandchild. I remember
the moment that picture was taken, and my father looking at Simon’s newborn
face said “There is such innocence and love in his little body.”
My dad was right. The
innocence, purity and love that we have as infants is fleeting from the moment
we’re born. Before long, Simon was
independently eating Cheerios, stamping his feet when he wanted a toy, laughing
hysterically at himself and even laughing at his parents. The truth is, innocence and purity are
luxuries that no one can afford for long – but I wonder how far from them do we
have to wander? How far is too far?
I wonder how my sense of sarcasm and cynicism developed. (Surely my father was in on the ground floor
of that creation within me.) I wonder why I get so frustrated
with the person on the highway driving too slow for me to get where I want to
go, or any other example of annoyance you want to insert here. I wonder where my sense of love of ends and
my sense of hate begins.
This Elul, I am reminded that I have tendencies both ways –
for great love and for feelings of annoyance and abhorrence. Elul reminds me to check that balance often
and to make sure that the love side is shining brighter than any other.
I know my dad saw the purity in Simon’s face. I’m grateful that, at times, he was able to
see the purity in mine, too. When he
didn’t, maybe it wasn’t about my face
– it was about the lens through which he was looking. His own sense of doubt, perhaps – his own
cynicism. Maybe that’s where mine comes from.
Cantor Seth Warner
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