Elul 23 - Lessons Learned - by Carl Moskowitz

My father was probably my most important role model of the many I had while growing up.  He always was there to offer help to a friend or neighbor and in all the years never asked or expected anything in return.  He was generous and fair to the employees of his leather goods manufacturing business.  It was when I was a freshman in college that he felt the business no longer could sustain itself and had to close it.  On my winter break from college, he told me the news and that he also was out of work.  Shortly thereafter those he had helped in the past came forward to help him.  Those with companies of their own offered jobs and I was told by one to come to him if I needed help to continue in college. 

So I chose to follow in my father’s footsteps by working to help others - first with FEMA in national disasters like hurricanes Katrina, Ike and Sandy and then as a volunteer with the local Red Cross chapter.

My volunteer work with the Red Cross these past years has made me more aware of how needy are many in our St. Louis community.  Many families affected by fires or floods have had to make the tough choice between feeding their families or insuring their possessions.  The help I can provide though the Red Cross is immediate and short term.  For example, for one family with three children who lost not only their home but their clothing as well, we got them housing in a motel and provided a debit card to help obtain some clothes and food. The rewards to this work are small but gratifying - from hugs and handshakes from the families and thanks from the firemen at the scene.  But I often have wondered what becomes of these families afterwards since I now am aware of how much more needs to be done to help them rebuild their lives and break the barriers of poverty. 

I hope that in the coming year I will have the strength and stamina to continue and possibly expand my efforts as a community volunteer.  In this way I build on the values taught me by my father and continue one person’s attempt to live the Jewish value of tzedakah.

Carl Moskowitz

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Elul 22 - Tikkun Middot as Preparation for the Holidays - by Eve Dyson

The High Holidays are a time when we are supposed to look at our lives, to take stock, to ask forgiveness. For most of my life I didn’t do much to prepare for the holidays. When I was a kid, the preparation we did involved getting a new dress.  I went to shul, fasted and did what I was supposed to do. But what I have discovered at this point in my life is that if I prepare  for the holidays with intentionality and participate fully in the spirit of this time of year, it can be quite a meaningful experience. I am reminded  to work toward being the person I want to be. I need to be reminded because it’s not easy work. Spiritual practice does not come easily for me. I have to practice, I have to set aside time, I have to think about it. I have to start over and then start over again, many times. Teshuva. Return. My preparation for the High Holidays is to try and get into a frame of mind that is open, introspective and willing.

I participated in one of the Tikkun Middot groups at Shaare Emeth this past year. During this year we were reminded to practice at being our best selves. We set aside time to think, to meditate, to slow down, to be. Each month we focused on a different Middah, a character trait. Our humanness. I did this with varying degrees of focus and success. But the point was that we tried. We made a decision and set an intention to focus inward and try to be honest with ourselves and worked to repair our inner selves.

In Reform Judaism we find virtue in Tikkun Olam. Repairing the world. We teach our children that it is their duty to help make the world a better place. Sometimes we come up with amazing ideas of ways to help. We encourage and reward our children and our friends in these endeavors. This is a wonderful part of Judaism. I believe that Tikkun Middot is another meaningful way to practice Tikkun Olam. I like to think of Olam as macro and Middot as micro. We look inward and introspect, examining our humility, patience, kindness, respect, and trustworthiness among other character traits. We make adjustments in our thinking and our behavior. We do small tests of change, experiments. When we do these things not only do we repair ourselves, we actually repair the world as well.

Imagine a world where everyone practiced Tikkun Middot. We would all be striving to be kind, thoughtful, respectful. We would be able to acknowledge when we have hurt someone or made a mistake. We would trust each other and trust God. Wow. What a wonderful world. If we all did that with all our heart and soul, we wouldn’t need to practice Tikkun Olam. Well at least for a while. After all we are all human, which means that we are frail, vulnerable and sometimes cruel. But then Teshuva, return. Return inside, meditate, practice the Tikkun Middot.

Eve Dyson

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Elul 21 - by Liessa Alperin

"I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” Lewis Carrol

We can’t go back, nor should we.  Oh how sometimes I’ve thought about it though. I would like to think that I’m not the only one.  Not the only one who sometimes, in a moment, takes a quick glance back? 

During the month of Elul we are instructed to begin our asking for forgiveness.  For this, I look towards the past to search for those for whom I have hurt, whether intentionally or not, and ask for their forgiveness.

I ask for forgiveness from those who…

I have hurt.

I have broken trust.

I have not approached with an open heart.

I ask for forgiveness for…

the times I listened to little and talked to much.

when I saw what I wanted to see instead of really seeing what was going on.

when I chose to keep going when I should have paused for a moment to understand.

forgetting how truly important it is to be kind to others...and to myself.

seeing the forest, but forgetting to see the trees.

refusing to open my heart to the possibilities around me.

hurting others in ways that a band aid will never repair.

not understanding that all I needed to do was just be present.  That's all. Nothing else.

not being 100% honest with others, or myself.

when I said yes, when I really meant no.

when I said No, when I really meant yes.

not always being the best ME that I could be.

I can’t go back to yesterday. I was a different person then. Having asked for forgiveness, I hope to be a better person now as I begin this New Year filled with hope, trust, honesty, grace, love, and joy!

                      

                                           

Liessa Alperin, Director of Religious School at Shaare Emeth

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Elul 20 - Silence - by Leslie Waldbaum

Silence and mindful speech or Shtikah-Shmirot HaLashon are so important to practice.  Hurtful words spoken to someone’s face of behind their back end up hurting both the victim and the speaker.  Written in the form of a letter, text, email, facebook, etc. can be just as hurtful causing the same shame, anger and regret.  Hurtful words can be a form of bullying and have led to teen suicides.  Once spoken or written they cannot be reclaimed.  Words that appear on the internet are there forever.  They can be read again today, tomorrow and next year.  They can be shared with others so easily with today’s technology.

I find that I am practicing this more with my own family.  I am being silent and thinking about what I will say instead of responding quickly - maybe with anger, sarcasm or something not well thought out.  I am sending less  texts and emails, making sure that they are really necessary.  When speaking of my family to others, I am trying harder to relate the good things that have happened.  This sometimes is very challenging.

Why not make words memorable in a positive way?  Practice silence and say or write nothing until it can be framed positively - something that makes us proud.  Then come Yom Kippur, we will be asking forgiveness of fewer people.

Leslie Waldbaum

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Elul 19 - Preparing for Yom Kippur - by Amy Scharff

I used to live in Yom Kippur. I ran my inner life in a constant state of checks and balances: “Am I doing my best? If I’m not, how can I improve? Am I trying hard enough? If I’m not, I need to try harder.” Going to services for the High Holidays was like my annual review of the job I was doing every day. And of course I could always do something better, help the world more, forgive someone more thoroughly, and attend to a friend or relative with more focus, time, or heart. I never got the promotion that a real annual review might have afforded me; but at least I allowed myself release from my failures of that year, so that the stack of next year’s failures wouldn’t break my back.

It was a grim, although useful, way to look at Yom Kippur: as a daily (not yearly) system, a reality check to make sure I was living to my potential every moment of my life. But if I didn’t hold others to that standard, why did I hold myself to it?

One year I finally realized that, even more than an awe-some day of judgment, Yom Kippur is a day of forgiveness, and that the forgiveness isn’t only meant for everyone besides me. I don’t know why it took me so many years for this to sink in; but when it did, I was finally ready for it.

I sat in the pew, having this realization, and a great weight seemed to float off of me. I became almost giddy with the understanding that I was an equal part of the congregation – not singled out by myself or by God or by anyone – but just as earnest and deserving as everyone surrounding me. My daily task now wasn’t based on the probation I’d received from my annual review, but rather the need to simply practice, again and again, being the best person I could be. And part of that daily practice would be letting go of my own judgment.

My new perspective allowed me to laugh at what I now realized was a burdensome perfectionism that had served more to paralyze me over the years than help me do my best.

Now when I notice my inner life tightening around me, some fictional admonishing parent on my shoulder wagging a finger at every little transgression, I remember the freedom I have to forgive myself, and the freedom that forgiveness allows. I’m not always very good at forgiving myself for my mistakes; but as I practice, I get better at it. Practice is what other rituals are for: the mezzuzah, the Sh’ma, Shabbat, and countless others. They – not the annual High Holidays – remind me how I am supposed to live my life every day, and they do it in a joyful, peaceful manner.

In September, when I approach the High Holidays, I will look forward to my retrospective contemplation of – yes – how I can improve myself; but I will take the rituals of that week as a reminder to practice (not perfect!) the other rituals throughout the year that help me live as I believe, and forgive as I go.

Amy Scharff

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Elul 18 - Israel - by Rabbi Jonah Zinn

I went to Israel last week. I was there with a group of congregational rabbis in their 20s and 30s who are new to STL on a mission sponsored by the Jewish Federation. We spent the week exploring aspects of Israel that often go overlooked. We met with leaders of religious minority communities. We heard from women working for greater justice for other woman within Judaism and learned about issues of religion and state. We toured east Jerusalem, the Hebron Hills, Sderot and Yokneam-Megiddo, St. Louis' Partnership2Gether community. We met change agents from the Bedouin and Israeli Arab communities, spoke with African Asylum seekers and so much more. 

I returned to St Louis exhausted and overwhelmed. The people we met were so incredible and the work they were doing so important. In the spirit of Elul, I spent the past few days reflecting on each interaction and considering the lessons I can learn from each person we met 

One woman we met founded an impressive school for Israeli Arabs. As I listened to her speak, her passion and vision captivated me. She spoke frankly and powerfully about the challenges recruiting staff who shared her vision. She commented on how difficult it was to find and retain teachers like her. One could sense the ownership she felt over her school and wanted to see it expand. From her comments, I think she knew she needed to take a step back and let others lead so she could focus on expanding the school’s model--but it was clearly difficult for her as it is for many of us.

Taking a step back is challenging, particularly when we feel so invested in our work. Elul calls us to evaluate all aspects of our life. We often speak of opportunities that we might embrace in the New Year. My experience in Israel reminded me that the New Year isn’t just about embracing new ideas and new opportunities. The New Year is also about recognizing that at times we need to take a step back, as difficult as it may be. May this Elul help us to clarify the places from which we need to recuse ourselves so the New Year can be a year of goodness and blessing for us all.

Rabbi Jonah Zinn

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